Blogger Notes

Lately there is one word that can sum up the state of my life.

UNMOTIVATED

I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I'm beginning to reach the crossroads towards adulthood. In less than a year I'll be graduating from school. I've already set up my plan so that I'll be graduating in 3 quarters from now. Then I'll be out in the real world, attempting my best to support myself financially and prove that I can confidently stand on my own two feet. Once I achieve that peace of mind, I feel like all else in the world will fall into place. I could honestly care less about how much money I make. To me, the most important thing I value is happiness, and if you're pushing a 9-5 just to pay the bills it isn't worth it. At least if you're doing that, make sure to do something your truly enjoy on the side, because we all know you can't live off of 3 pennies and some lint. Keep at an old hobby or something at least. You're just draining yourself both mentally and physically if you're not, in my opinion. So many people submit themselves to their own torture without even knowing it, like even when your simple pleasures in life become ritualistic that they don't make you happy anymore. I always figured, as long as your doing something you love, the money will come eventually in terms of pursuing a career. I always found it interesting how most people's "passions" always involve some aspect of the arts. You never hear people saying I wanna grow up to be a successful dentist, or nurse, or accountant. You hear the little kid in you with the crazy aspirations, like the girl who wanted to be a dancer, or the guy who wanted to be a musician. You just gotta do everything out of love or passion. As corny as this sounds, "follow your heart." I'm trying to avoid this life scenario at ALL COSTS:



If I'm dead broke and living on the streets doing caricatures for 5 bucks on Santa Monica pier a year from now because of sticking true to this statement, then so be it hahaha. At least I'll be happy. I guess another reason why I'm feeling unmotivated is because I don't really have anything to look forward to except for sunday night basketball with the homies. hahaha. My life has become a simple math equation:

my life = eat + sleep + work + school + bball

I wish I could say I was genuinely looking forward to something, but I'm just not. At times I just feel like a mindless drone, going through the motions of everyday life. I need to take Ghostface Killah's advice from "All That I Got is You"

"I saw life for what it's really worth and took a step back"

I just need to realize that right now everything is going good for me. I need to just take some to sit and think about all the good things that are happening to me, and around me, to really fully appreciate where I'm at in my life right now. Once I do that, I think that feeling of optimism, and just overall enjoyment of life will come back. To quote Pharrell,

"See...sometimes you gotta realize where you are in your life, in order to feel good..."


.rain

For the first time in United States history a black(well half black) man has become president! But ethnicity has nothing to do with this election in my opinion. The tallying of these ballots symbolizes America's desire for change. All I can say is while listening to McCain's gracious concession speech and Obama's acceptance speech on the way home from Costa Mesa, I felt almost a sense of euphoria come over me. All I could do was stare at the cities around me (since the drive home from Costa Mesa is uber far) and just feel nothing but optimism for the country, pure and utter positivity that kinda sent a few chills up my spine (as corny and stupid as that may sound). I normally don't care much for politics, but the way in which Obama delivers his words in his speeches is really powerful. The constant repetition of that newly coined phrase, "Yes we can." just felt good to hear(although I don't know if it was the cadence of his voice or the content of his speech that struck me the most). All I can say right now is hopefully this man will live up partially to the expectations he has set for himself. Running for president is one thing, running a nation is a whole nother ball game. I'll end my political banter here assuming that everyone's minds has already been oversaturated with all this election insanity. I feel glad to have participated in what everyone has been calling the "critical election" and going into that poll and punching in my little black ink dots never felt so empowering(even if everybody says one person can't make a difference). If you haven't deciphered who I supported yet, let's just say I was "pro-bama"

Well besides that, I've decided to start a blog! I have alot of free time nowadays to sit and do nothing but ponder, so I figured why not. I used to blog all throughout middle school and the beginning of high school anyway. Even if nobody even reads this crap, I guess it will serve as a sort of "electronic diary" and allow me to just talk to myself. hahaha.

...rain